tonight i wanna cry
by Claire Lanser
Summary: fai is upset about kuroganes choice to save him yes, spoilers kurogane wanders into a bar and hears a song and loses it...fai wanders to the same bar... crappy summery


tonight i wanna cry

(major spoilers )

kurogane stared at the broken bundle on the bed, even while he was on death's doorstep, he couldn't help but notice how immortaly beautiful the blonde man was, breathing heavely he could barely stand to look at 'syaoran' without feeling his self-control slip, so he didn't look at him he let every little thought lead back to the beautiful angel on the bed. Begging death to take him and when he heard Fai's voice say no he snapped "WHO TOLD YOU YOU COULD MAKE THAT DESICION NOW!? HUH!?" Kurogane glared at him not realizing he raised his fist the man and slowly; using all his focus, he lowered it "sorry." it was practicly a scoff he smiled he rolling weakly to the side

"...witch, is there a way to save him?" "there is..." his head snapped to look at the woman..

...

kurogane accepted the witch's offer with no arguement but when fai had awakened and he saw the clouded hatred glaring up at him he almost stagered back, Fai fell to the bed in exhaustion Kurogane would have moved closer but found him self immoble penetrated by that stare...

and when fai had awakened the mage had refused to speak a single word to him, cast him a single glance, it hurt to know the mage would likly never forgive him for doing such a thing to him and against his own will at that

when they moved on to the next world they were forced to share a room not just that but a bed. Fai had walked out of the room and had not come back it was around four in the morning that Kurogane decided to find him wanting nothing but to see him, in amost every other room they had been 'forced' to share a room and niether one had really cared and now he couldn't stand the silence he at least wanted to hear the mages even breathing

he grumbled getting up and grabbing his coat off the hanger looking at it he realized that the mage had not grabbed his he picked up the coat and carried it with him he stepped outside and was immedeantly assualted by a ferice blizzard, he cursed under his breath at the mages stupidity leaving the house, without a coat, in the middle of a Friggin' blizzard! he walked a little farther and saw the blondes head down the hill sitting in the snow

"Oi! Mage!" the blonde refused to look at him he kept his eyes on the beautiful frozen lake the snow covered willow trees and the flurry of white the feeling of the cold was comfort to his heart it made him feel as if he could freeze the ache in his heart if only for a while "Mage!" Kurogane called again, sliding down the hill Fai stood quietly and walked further away "Mage, your gonna catch your death of a cold out here come on." Kurogane grabbed his arm but Fai pulled away and hissed at him "leave me alone! You-" "no arguements" "...go back without me i don't even know why you did that in tokyo but it was stupid because when you arive at your home world you'll leave us and i'll keep travling i have to or the man i'm running from will catch me and if i stay in one place he come and find me" Kurogane gawked at him a moment before regaining his composuer "i'm not staying in my home...i'll keep travling, for you."

Fai scoffed and thought of the full meaning of his words "why bother Kurogane i think it would be more appropreate for your wish to be fullfilled" he turned his head away "go back and leave me to my death, i wanted to die but for your own selfish reasons you made me live! and i couldn't hate you more...Kurogane" the mage must have noticed how he flinched the first time his full name came out the secomed time he couldn't help but cringe, and with that the mage walked away Kurogane thought of following him and refused turning to leave back to the hotel he threw the coat to him "Mage!!" Fai turned his head breiflly and refused to pick up the coat no matter how cold he was he vowed he would not realliy on kurogane for his life, he used to think that Kurogane was absoulutly the best thing that had happened to him, he had un-knowingly fallen in love with him despite his boundries...

Kurogane sighed as he walked he noticed a bar, going inside he was greeted by the musky scent and the dim lights, he ordered the strongest thing there was and gulped it down...

he didn't know how long he had been there but it was long enough for them to start playing slower songs, and he heard one...he felt the lyrics rip into his chest...

and he questioned as it played, if Fai would ever forgive him for not being able to let Fai die...(i know this song is not sung by a girl but pretend it is) the girl on stage sang with her heart, he could tell he could swear he heard her voice waver before she started and could see moisture glisten in her eyes

_**Alone in this house again tonight**_

fai felt the cold split into him finally and picked up his coat he felt numb knowing he was lieing to himself, he knew hating Kurogane was killing him

_**I got the TV on, the sound turned down and a bottle of wine**_

Kurogane felt his heart ache with longing...he didn't know that the worst was yet to come for him...

_**There's pictures of you and I on the walls around me**_

the coat was still warm, and it smelled of Kurogane...delicously so, he figured that Kurogane must of clutched it like a life vest

_**The way that it was and could have been surrounds me**_

if kurogane thought he was aching now the next thing brought him so close to tears...it would be the first tears since his parents death

_**...I'll never get over you walkin' away**_

Fai slushed through the snow and noticed the warm dim lights of a bar and decided it seemed more inviting than 'home' did

_**I've never been the kind to ever let my feelings show**_

fai entered to be greeted with the slow music; kurogane felt the realization of loss fall over him

_**And I thought that bein' strong meant never losin' your self-control**_

he had just lost the most important thing because he was determined to save him...

_**But I'm just drunk enough to let go of my pain**_

kurogane was getting a bit tipsy...how many glasses had he had now?

_**To hell with my pride, let it fall like rain**_

it was what he wanted to do

_**From my eyes**_

kurogane bowed his head as tears pricked the corners ; Fai sat down at the bar next to a man whom he should have paid more attention to but did not realize just who it was

_**Tonight I wanna cry**_

kurogane couldn't keep the sob inside and it escaped weakly sounding strangled and odd coming from the warrior...

_**Would it help if I turned a sad song on**_

fai heard the sound and turned to look at the man slumped over on the stool

_**"All By Myself" would sure hit me hard now that you're gone**_

his eyes softened as he watched the sobs grow more prononced...

_**Or maybe unfold some old yellow lost love letters**_

he laid a gentle hand on the mans shoulder the man jerked in surprize and looked up

_**It's gonna hurt bad before it gets better**_

fai was more than shocked to see Kurogane's tear stained face

_**But I'll never get over you by hidin' this way**_

kurogane's crimson eyes widened, he nearly fell off the stool "...fai..."

_**I've never been the kind to ever let my feelings show**_

Fai flinched at the way his name was said a mournfull regretfull tone

_**And I thought that bein' strong meant never losin' your self-control**_

"kurogane" he said in a curt reply trying despretly to keep his swimming emotions under control

_**But I'm just drunk enough to let go of my pain**_

that was it for Kurogane he couldn't take it anymore and slumpped over the tears spilling out again

_**To hell with my pride, let it fall like rain**_

Fai couldn't believe what he was seeing the strong warrior crying, and for what, him? he watched him a moment...before...

_**From my eyes**_

he joined him, he couldn't take it hating kurogane was tearing him apart he loved Kurogane he knew that but he didn't want to...those to near him got hurt...and he only wanted the best for the ninja...

_**Tonight I wanna cry**_

he drapped himself over Kuroganes shoulder, sobing and buried his face in kurogane who froze at the contact...then slowly brought his arms around the small shaking form

_**I've never been the kind to ever let my feelings show**_

_**And I thought that bein' strong meant never losin' your self-control**_

_**But I'm just drunk enough to let go of my pain**_

_**To hell with this pride, let it fall like rain**_

_**From my eyes**_

the bar was empty now no one but them and the girl smiled that was when Kurogane noticed how much the girl looked like...Tomoyo...he smiled, pulling the mage tighter against him

_**Tonight I wanna cry**_


End file.
